This adventure we call life is a fun ride to do what everyone seems to refer to as “Finding Yourself”. But what on earth does that mean? That’s the million dollar question, isnt it? If someone had the answer to that and a small direction guide on how to accomplish it, they’d possess the ability to rule the world. Okay, maybe not. But they would at least have a few more answers than I do.
Recently I have been adding to my list of hobbies, at an alarming rate. I am not a fan of boredom, and I have discovered that I am much happier the busier I am – You know, finding that exact balance of good stress vs. bad stress. With that in mind I have explored the following in 2019:
- Creating a Music Editing Business. I love music editing, its great fun and I think I am pretty darn good at it (judging by all of the terrible edits I hear in a lot of other peoples music).
- Becoming an adviser (twice over) for my old college sorority. This has been fun, because who doesn’t miss college? But they are both pretty small advising positions, so really we are talking only a couple hours a month until I can work my way up to larger positions (Read: Years).
- Volunteering with Guardian ad Litem. This one has been the most rewarding, and the most frustrating all at the same time. I could write pages and pages, and depending on my mood they would vary between talking about how much good I feel like I can do that day, and how broken the system is with no real hope in sight.
- Applied for the Junior League. This one was really just an application, and I haven’t heard back yet. Ideally, it would just be one more thing to add to my schedule, as well as interacting with other individuals around my age, maybe.
- Joined a Country Club. There has been a whole post about this, but it was done to have somewhere to go and something to do. As well as meeting people. honestly, it gives me the perfect refreshing lift I need sometimes and I’m loving it.
- Modeling. This brings me to my most recent undertaking… Modeling.
I used to model when I was a kid. A little kid. I did fashion shows in little flower girl dresses for bridal shows, I did commercials, I did calendars, and I did magazines and catalogues. It was crazy fun, for my young self, until an agent told me when I was about 8 that I should cut my hair. I chose my hair over the camera, and that was the end of that.
Recently, it started again with my wedding pictures. I know it sounds probably awful, but my favorite part of my wedding day was absolutely the couple hours I spent with our amazing photography and videography team. My husband saw how much I love it… and our pictures came out beautifully. He mentioned once on an offhand comment, if I;d ever want to actually consider modeling. I blew it off at the time, but the idea stuck in my head. I saw an ad for a cheap boudoir session, and decided to pose for that as a surprise gift for my husband. Then I did it again, for free – after being chosen by the photographer. A few months after that, my Haunted House needed actors for promotional pictures and I participated in that. Then, I did a “Girls of the Haunt” calendar photo shoot. Everyone who has taken my picture has echoed the same… “Hey you’re really good at this… have you considered modeling?” I have blown it off every time.
Something made me join a Facebook group. Something made me post pictures. Something made me throw my name in when people were searching for models. And now, here I am.
It is hard to explain the feeling I get when I am in front of the camera. It’s pretty close to the “Stage High” that I get when I am dancing. And of course it is always really confidence boosting to get the photos back and see yourself that way. I am almost 30, and honestly right now I need that little confidence boost.
So what’s in a picture?
I am finding out.
Anchoring Herself 